Dream
by Milisante
Summary: Fuji’s life in the world of angels, without Tezuka. Is it real or is it a dream? Semi-AU, that in fact is not. TeFu


Hai, I said I wouldn't, but I did. Sorry) Another strange story, from me)

Please, try to read it to the very end, then It'll be understandable!

Oh, and I love reviews, please, leave one if you read!

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**Title:** Dream.

**Pairing:** TeFu, I wonder. It's friendship at the moment. And love can be different, so they love each other anyway!

**Rating:** T, for madness of the author.

**Warning:** It's written in the first person! I actually do not like it that way, but it can't be helped, I was in a mood^^

The story is only half AU! Those who can read it till the end will understand why.

**Summary:** Fuji's life in the world of angels. Is it real or is it a dream? Semi-AU, that in fact is not. TeFu

_I __**do not**__ own Prince of Tennis!_

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_**Dream.**_

I dream one day I'll wake up and see you again.

And then I'll be able to tell you all the things I've been hiding for so long inside my numb heart.

And I'll be strong enough to give you all that left of that useless heart.

And I hope you'll take it in your arms and warm it with your smile.

So let me see you once again.

--

We've never been friends from the start, we couldn't. We're different in a way that I can't explain, though I suspect you were just the exactly right person for me to understand myself. What would I be if I had never met you? Guess, I don't want to know. But somehow I still cling onto the time I first met your eyes lit with sun waterfall. I remember the wind blowing softly through your hair, and making me shiver with its coldness.

We are so different. You and I. And I don't want to change it. Never.

Every human's life is like a melody, sometimes it's slow and boring, sometimes fast and exiting. I'm just in the middle, while wishing to get that silent and quiet life I could have had.

"Do you regret anything, Fuji-san?" she asks it so cheerfully, as only a young girl can. Well, the only answer I know is smile, so I smile. But indeed have I ever regretted my choice?

"No, I'm a happy man", they're glad to hear it. I always give replies they await.

That's how it is. Nobody deserves my rudeness and cruelty except for you. Because you were the one who left me behind. Because I was the one to let you go.

"Ne, oji-san, thank you", Miko lifts her large grey eyes to the shining Sun and screw them up. That's cute and funny, because I'm not that old and I'll do anything for her, since she's my one and only adorable niece. Children always make me laugh inside, they're naïve and direct. Even if they try hard to deceive me, it's useless as it can be. She's just like her father, and that's what I love about her the most. They're both my precious relation to the world. The only connection I accept and admit. Am I wrong? I do not care till I belong to their little universe. That's quite enough for someone like me.

"Mother called yesterday," she says out of blue, watching drifting clouds. She is really beautiful. I think I'm proud of her. "Maybe, next week, she'll be in Tokyo. She wanted to meet you and… father".

"That would be great. I'd like to kiss her cheek once in a while. It's been 2 years after all. Ne, am I that old?" I smile at her kindly. Miko just sniffs, she knows what lies behind my words. I do not like Mokoto, her mother. It's the instinct of protection.

Yuuta was wrong choosing her, but I couldn't stop him. That would be unfair and after all he has the right to make his own mistakes. To have a daughter is the best benefit he'd gotten from that marriage, but it cost the price.

"You know, she said she'd seen him…" Miko is worried and she stops abruptly on her tracks, almost surprising me.

"Him?" I do not show any interest, just sound caring.

"The man who made you like this… I mean…" she tries to find the words, but for a fifteen year old girl it's not that simple. That pleases me and my heart sings. She loves me. If you made someone love you, then your life wasn't a waste.

"He did nothing wrong. But Mokoto lies, she couldn't see him, he left long ago", I take her hand and assure her with a tender smile of mine. She is used to my mannerism, and she sees through me easily.

"You can't accuse her," she bites her lower lip, painful memories still haunt her.

"I do not," that's my line. I'm honest with her. "But there's no way for her to see someone dead long ago". Her eyes enlarge, now they're round as plates. I smile at her and lift my gaze, explaining through silence that everything's fine. She's in horror. And I can understand her.

I, Fuji Syusuke, spent aimlessly twenty years pretending you're alive. And I am lying to myself, hoping that nobody will ever see how much I'm tired of this. Should I stop it? And then, what?

I tried so many times to forget, I wanted to start a new life with new people, to be just like anyone, gladly accepting all that's given to me, but… Every time I close my eyes I see you, I almost feel you. I long for your touch, though we've never been that close, I long for your smile, that you showed few times a year and I miss you. No one compares to you…

We were never friends, because I could not let myself be too familiar with you. Middle high was easy, but High school made me insane. I thought that smelling you was the worst I could do, but then again and again I made you ashamed of me. I did deserve my punishment.

--

"Your mourning is too long, Fuji," Mizuki drinks his tea, while speaking. Annoying bastard, I admire him for being that much stubborn. Though he uses people to achieve his doubtful aims, he can read them as well. He was the first to realize the truth. Yuuta never paid attention to my craziness, but Mizuki always watched me with his intrigued eyes.

"What should I do in your opinion?" I smile at him sweetly, the only way we can communicate.

"Throw away your memories. Stop the nonsense. It's not too late yet…" he won't continue looking at my legs, while I'm sitting in wheelchair.

"For what?" I love it, making him turn away and think. I know he hopes to win against me, so his talking won't seem blabbing. "I am thirty seven immobile photographer trying to find the real evident of paranormal existence. Anything else to add?"

He's silent for a while, and then he stands up swiftly and walks away without a word. Just like him. I wonder if I can call him friend, while he claims to be a family.

--

I want to feel you, but you are dead. I trust myself. And I want to hope that all my senses do not lie to me. I saw you crushed and bloodstained, I screamed and cried. And still you're my enigma.

Please, come back to me. If you told the truth, then you'd come back. Do you know how much I suffer?

--

Mokoto is terribly annoying. Her new husband nods greeting me. So, she probably said that I loved a man. That's amusing how cruel women can be. Wasn't she the one head over heels in love with me?

Yuuta tries to ignore her and control his anger, when she's chatting carelessly with Mizuki. Sometimes I'm proud of that man. He pretends to be nice, while in fact he hates her as much as I do, even more, I suppose. He does a nice job for me and brother.

"And then I met him, Tezuka Kunimitsu, in the gallery. He was looking at your pictures, Syusuke!"

God, let me stay calm. My heart aches and her voice threatens to break my head into pieces. Why is she here?

"Oh, I'm glad," I smile, clenching my fists under the table. Such a lie! Doesn't she know he's dead?

"You may not believe me, but he said some strange things…" the room fills with nothing but silence. Even Miko holds her breath. "He said that you're stupid and nothing changed since school".

"Probably. We're all."

"But, Syusuke, why don't you talk to him? Maybe, he doesn't love you, but it'll be better for you to settle the matter". She smiles victoriously.

Mizuki smirks, now there's something on his mind to destroy her completely.

"I did", I say before leaving. I go to where my nightmares live. To be alone, to be only with you.

--

I see this dream every night and still I can't remember what happened to us…

_"I guess there's something wrong with me, Tezuka", I stand beside you, enjoying the evening. I decided everything two days ago. Whatever your answer will be, I won't let both of us ruin our lives. "Ne, do you like anyone?"_

_"What do you mean?" your gaze is always so far away. They call you stranger, though everyone depends on you. There's a chance you're an alien. But I do not believe in other species._

_"Like Yuuta likes Mokoto" I feel my head's spinning. What are you doing to me?_

_"I can't. We can't actually. Someone told me that wings prevent us from falling in love" his face expresses nothing as usual, but his hand touches wind and I'm amused._

_"That's funny," I lean closer to him. He lets me, because he's not my friend, but I take his attention forcefully. I make him listen to me, walk me home, help me with useless homework. Everything just to be closer. "Can't you see I'm crazy over you?" I do not change positions, I wait. Perhaps, he'll be angry and break my hopes or neck._

_"That's fine, you're not an ordinary human, so that's probably normal. You're attracted to me, but that's not what you think it is"._

_"Stop it! Are you playing with me?" I'm angry. Now I look at him and he's surprised and a little bit shaken. What have I done? "Or you're telling you're what? Angel, are you?"_

_"Am not. There're no angels on Earth left. They can't feel, they're jealous of you and me. There's no freedom for them."_

_"I don't want to hear this! Your new project, is it? Can't you understand, I've decided!" now I'm well aware of his persistence, his scent, his hold. He's holding my hand and looks into my eyes deeply._

_I melt and I want to die, so I will not lose anything, won't forget the moment of his attention._

_He embraces me tightly, my head falls on his chest. I'm in heaven, but that's the end. And I cry._

_"Fuji?" his voice vibrates through the air. I look up and fall into madness. "Wings are not supposed to be shown, but if you feel better that way…"_

--

_Real _

I wake up drenched with sweat. I saw it so many times that I almost believe it was just a dream. Yet it was real, that's why I'm here, helpless and waiting.

That day I saw you dead. I smelt the mixture of blood and feathers. It was because of me, because I wanted you to love me and I cut your miraculous wings. But could it really be?

No angels, you said. But I couldn't care less, you were next to me and I let myself be blown with the feeling.

--

"Syusuke, there's someone here for you!" Miko's voice brought me back to reality. She's cheerful, but I can't recognize her. "Come in…"

What? What is going on?

--

"Good evening, Fuji!" you're looking at me with those eyes. "How are you? Kikumaru asked me to visit you. He's busy with some school duties."

"Tezuka?" I ask and my voice is trembling. I look around and find myself in my own bed. It can't be! "Tezuka! You're alive?" I arch my left brow, expecting that you'll wear your wings and fly away, but.

You seem to be troubled with my reaction. So you're the real one. Your glasses are in place and your lips pressed tightly.

"Of course I am, the training was not that hard," you're so serious, that I want to laugh and tease you. I am Fuji Syusuke and I'm going to win National Championship. "you'd better rest some more".

I jump up from the bed and hug you. You are shocked and frozen in my arms. That's an amazing breathtaking feeling. As if I came back home from a terrible dream. Well, that's true.

"I saw a nightmare!" I begin telling while you're still not able to move properly. "You were an angel and you died, and I was paralyzed!"

"Aa" you cough, clearing your throat. "It might be frightening".

"indeed!" I set you free and nod, smiling. "And your wings were broken…"

"Fuji, there're no angels on Earth left, calm down", you look at me seriously and then turn away, preparing to leave the room. But I can only watch you with widely open eyes. The same exact phrase! "Your mother asked you to come down and eat your supper, it's much healthier than dreaming".

I'm afraid to utter a word. What is wrong with me? Why haven't I told you about the love? Am I a coward or am I strangely attracted to you, just like in that parallel world?

"By the way, how did I lose my wings?" you're standing by the door and observing me. No, I'm sure, you see through me.

"I can't remember", I truthfully smile, using all my strength to hide my rapidly beating heart and mask my reddening cheeks.

"That's for better", you say before disappearing in the hall.

"Probably".

Dreams are not for your liking.

--

Sometimes I look at the mirror and see a middle-aged man with faded blue eyes and broken smile. I wonder if it's my future.

In any case I don't want that dream come true, that's why I won't touch your wings. _Loving you is enough._

_The end_

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**a/n:** Thank you reading!

Oh, and sorry, for any mistakes -)


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